iEATcars!

The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.

A smile can always overcome the barrier of language.

You will be missed.

1. Head Gone Vertical – Atom and His Package
2. Batman-Stage 1 – The Advantage
3. Tighten Up – The Black Keys
4. Hazy Paradise – Ghost
5. Free and Easy (Summer Girls) – Fu Manchu
6. After Hours – Caribou
7. Statement of the Year – The Pretty Weapons
8. What Did My Lover Say? (It Always Had To Go This Way) – Wolf Parade
9. Lower Your Eyelids And Die With The Sun – M83
10. Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes – Beck
11. Metrobolt – Casino Versus Japan
12. Gravity’s Rainbow (Van She Remix) – Klaxons
13. Ending of an Era – Midnight Juggernauts

At some point, I became the scary guy. I’m not really sure when that totally happened, but these days, I tend to make people nervous. I’ve been used to being an intimidating guy for a while. I was used to hearing people say they didn’t want to mess with me, because I was a big dude that could probably kick their ass. That usually ended up making me a little self-conscious, though, because I was never looking for a fight and I don’t like people scared of me.

Eventually I just got used to it. Whatever. It is what it is. People that know me, know I’m just a happy-go-lucky guy. Now, though, I guess the combination of size and tattoos and facial hair have enhanced my intimidating presence. It’s more often than not that older people clutch onto their valuables or push their kids behind them when they see me coming. I’ve literally had people walking towards me, move further away or suddenly cross  the street once their eyes locked with mine.

I won’t grab your children and throw them in the back of a van. I am not a Hells Angel. I am not some radical white supremacist. I’m not even violent. At worst, I may cuss a little too much. But if I don’t start getting some better respect in public, I might just have to start killing people in broad daylight.

Seriously.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was just a result of really good weed, but there’s a freaking food monster hiding in this ad. And Target’s all trying to be nonchalant about it.

“Oh we’re just here to tell you about coupons and stuff. Never mind the food monster hiding by the milk.”

Don’t mess with me, Target. I don’t appreciate it.

UPDATE:

For those of you that simply do not believe, I have provided the rough sketch that I did here at work. It’s scary, I know. Parents, you may not want to let your children see this… unless you’re really into giving your kids nightmares as punishment or even fun. If that’s the case, then by all means.

Lucky you make this choice. Everything comes out for the best.

1. M1A1 – Gorillaz
2. Losing Friends – Death From Above 1979
3. You – Moby
4. Juicebox – The Strokes
5. Give It Up – LCD Soundsystem
6. Tongue Tied – The Hong Kong
7. We Win (Ha Ha) – Thundercats Are Now!
8. Helicopter – Bloc Party
9. Tribulations – LCD Soundsystem
10. Bone House – The Dead Weather
11. Meantime – The Futureheads
12. Angel Lust – Fake Shark – Real Zombie!
13. Cheap And Cheerful – The Kills
14. Luno – Bloc Party vs Death From Above 1979
15. Hotride – The Prodigy
16. Crown On The Ground – Sleigh Bells
17. Party And Bullshit – Ratatat / Notorious B.I.G.

Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.