Okay, Man. Let’s Do This!
Some time ago, Alisha and I decided to stop by CiCi’s Pizza for a cheap meal, and as we drove up to the place, we noticed two men outside the doors, pumping each other up for whatever was about to take place.
“Okay, man. Let’s do this!” one of the guys shouted to the other before they high-fived and stormed the doors.
Now Alisha and I love pizza and cheat food just as much as the next guy, but we’ve never had the urge to bump chests or slap high-fives before tackling a buffet. So the display that we had just seen… well, it was a bit odd to say the least.
When we went inside and walked up to the register, we were clued in on the goings on. CiCi’s had advertised a pizza eating contest of sorts. The way it worked was a two man team could buy in for $50, and they had to consume a 32 inch one topping pizza and a pitcher of soda in less than 45 minutes. The reward for achieving such a feat was a $500 chunk of cash and trip to the hospital to stitch your stomach back together.
These guys had decided that this was there moment. They were going to make CiCi’s pay up. Everyone waited in anticipation as they wheeled out the large pie with extra cheese, the team’s topping of choice.
“Attention customers! Tonight we have another team that will attempt to take on The CiCi’s Pizza Challenge. They are going to attempt to consume this pizza and a pitcher of soda in less than 45 minutes. On your marks, get set… GO!” announced the store manager.
And at that moment the race was on. Quickly, they each grabbed a huge, greasy slice and chowed down on what was only the beginning on the long road ahead of them. One of the men, a larger man, looked like he had some experience in eating large quantities of food, but his partner, with a body not unlike a male version of Calista Flockhart, looked like he was in for a rude awakening. There’s a good chance the most he had ate before that night was a packet of ketchup. Still, they gnawed on and inched their ways closer to that $500 pay out.
Other customers cheered them on, each of them voyeuristically sticking it to the man with their pizza consumption. One man, especially took it upon himself to be their personal coach and threw tips out at them every chance he got. If not for fear of being arrested, I’m sure he would have gave them shoulder massages and patted the sweat from their brows and the grease from their chins.
“You can do this, boys! I believe in you!”
Sadly, after about 20 minutes or so, it was evident that the Pizza Challenge was too much for them. Less than half way in, they had come to an abrupt halt, nearing the verge of barfdom. And before the clock had even reached the 45 minute mark, they had thrown in the towel.
They had admitted that they had not trained for the event; that they were very ill prepared. And after seeing the look of disappointment in our faces, they boxed up the remaining pizza and drove off into the moonlight.
