iEATcars!

Fortune Cookie for August 2010

Will — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:12:48 +0000

The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.

Fortune Cookie for July 2010

Will — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:12:33 +0000

A smile can always overcome the barrier of language.

RIP Harvey Pekar

Will — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:07:25 +0000

You will be missed.

Happy 4th of July, bitches! Wooo

Will — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Pretty Late: May 2010 IMP Mixtape

Will — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 21:10:47 +0000

Head Gone Vertical – Atom and His Package
Batman-Stage 1 – The Advantage
Tighten Up – The Black Keys
Hazy Paradise – Ghost
Free and Easy (Summer Girls) – Fu Manchu
After Hours – Caribou
Statement of the Year – The Pretty Weapons
What Did My Lover Say? (It Always Had To Go This Way) – Wolf Parade
Lower Your Eyelids And Die With The Sun – M83
Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes – Beck
Metrobolt – Casino Versus Japan
Gravity’s Rainbow (Van She Remix) – Klaxons
Ending of an Era – Midnight Juggernauts

Do Not Fear Me

Will — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 19:29:35 +0000

At some point, I became the scary guy. I’m not really sure when that totally happened, but these days, I tend to make people nervous. I’ve been used to being an intimidating guy for a while. I was used to hearing people say they didn’t want to mess with me, because I was a big dude that could probably kick their ass. That usually ended up making me a little self-conscious, though, because I was never looking for a fight and I don’t like people scared of me.

Eventually I just got used to it. Whatever. It is what it is. People that know me, know I’m just a happy-go-lucky guy. Now, though, I guess the combination of size and tattoos and facial hair have enhanced my intimidating presence. It’s more often than not that older people clutch onto their valuables or push their kids behind them when they see me coming. I’ve literally had people walking towards me, move further away or suddenly cross the street once their eyes locked with mine.

I won’t grab your children and throw them in the back of a van. I am not a Hells Angel. I am not some radical white supremacist. I’m not even violent. At worst, I may cuss a little too much. But if I don’t start getting some better respect in public, I might just have to start killing people in broad daylight.

Seriously.

The Food Monster

Will — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:19:13 +0000

If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was just a result of really good weed, but there’s a freaking food monster hiding in this ad. And Target’s all trying to be nonchalant about it.

“Oh we’re just here to tell you about coupons and stuff. Never mind the food monster hiding by the milk.”

Don’t mess with me, Target. I don’t appreciate it.

UPDATE:

For those of you that simply do not believe, I have provided the rough sketch that I did here at work. It’s scary, I know. Parents, you may not want to let your children see this… unless you’re really into giving your kids nightmares as punishment or even fun. If that’s the case, then by all means.

Fortune Cookie for June 2010

Will — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:57:45 +0000

Lucky you make this choice. Everything comes out for the best.

Way Late: April 2010 IMP Mixtape

Will — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:35:17 +0000

M1A1 – Gorillaz
Losing Friends – Death From Above 1979
You – Moby
Juicebox – The Strokes
Give It Up – LCD Soundsystem
Tongue Tied – The Hong Kong
We Win (Ha Ha) – Thundercats Are Now!
Helicopter – Bloc Party
Tribulations – LCD Soundsystem
Bone House – The Dead Weather
Meantime – The Futureheads
Angel Lust – Fake Shark – Real Zombie!
Cheap And Cheerful – The Kills
Luno – Bloc Party vs Death From Above 1979
Hotride – The Prodigy
Crown On The Ground – Sleigh Bells
Party And Bullshit – Ratatat / Notorious B.I.G.

Fortune Cookie for May 2010

Will — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:12:00 +0000

Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.