Grandma Magnet
I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s my dimple. Maybe it’s my (usually) calm demeanor. Hell, maybe it’s just because I’m super awesome, but for whatever reason, grandmas love me. And you’d think, “Well, they’re grandmas. It’s in there nature to love us.” But that’s not it. No, grandmas love me.
Sure, it started out innocent enough with the occasional “Oh, he’s such a sweet boy”, but more recently it has really gotten out of hand. Let’s review some real-life situations, and you be the judge.
1. Quite possibly the oldest person in the building in which I work comes up to me and wants a hug. Sure. I oblige. While in mid-hug, she takes a big whiff and says, “Wow, you smell sooo good. Mmm Mmm. And such a great hugger. So nice. Mmm.”
2. I walk into a training room, and two older ladies immediately start saying things like, “Oh, who’s this handsome fellow?” and “The computers must looove him, the way he touches them in just the right way.”
3. An older lady kept calling me on the phone, telling me they had a “package” for me to come and pick up. I kept forgetting to make it to their desk, so they would send me emails or tell the other guys I work with to let me know. Eventually, I made it down there and the package was a bag of two shirts that they said their son “couldn’t fit into anymore” and maybe I would like them. They were brand new and totally different sizes; almost like she was trying to guess my size.
4. ”Oh, nice britches. I like those.” I’m told by another older lady walking by, as I’m bent over, under a desk, pulling cable. Sure, that could have just been a simple remark to comment on the fact that my boxers were showing at work, but if only I could type that statement in a way to convey the way she said it. It was creepy.
5. “Oh, what strong muscles you must have, lifting all those heavy boxes. Wouldn’t you mind stopping by my place sometime to move my box,” another older lady slyly asked me while giving me the ol’ winky-winky.
Ok, so I made up that last one, but believe me, I wouldn’t be surprised if that happens at some point. Now, this is just at work and only a few instances that come to mind. So you tell me, people. Am I crazy?
