iEATcars!

As I was stepping out to take a lunch, I passed the VP of Sales on his way back in, and he stopped me.

“Let me read your shirt.”

We both stood there in the parking lot, silent, while he looked over my shirt with scrutinizing eyes. Now, mind you, this is not a guy that is normally known for being a nice guy or someone you’d honestly want to be stuck in a conversation with. And the last few times that I made contact with him, fixing various PC issues that he had at the time, he only referred to me as “boy”; like I was his pet labradoodle.

“Ok, sir. You’re all set.”

“Good boy.”

And here I was, standing toe to toe with a VP while he eyed over my shirt. I was just waiting for him to shake his head in disappointment that I would wear such a shirt that was not more work appropriate. It wasn’t that my shirt was bad, but it’s when you’re in these situations, that you think the worst.

This same VP is the one you always hear stories about how he got so-and-so fired, because he didn’t like him for whatever reason. He’s an old timer in the company that supposedly has enough pull that he can get you fired with the snap of a finger. Maybe he does. Maybe it’s just office ghost stories. I certainly never want to try and prove it one way or the other.

Then there’s the real stuff you hear about. How he’s in court for allegedly man-handling a (now) former employee during a disagreement they had at his desk. Maybe that’s not true either, but again… who wants to find out, right? Not that I think this guy could take me, but who really wants to get attacked at work?

More importantly… this dude was taking up my precious lunch time to do this.

And that’s when it happened. The silence was broken with a sudden outburst into laughter. Serious, gut-tugging laughter.

“Oh my God. This is fucking hilarious!” he shouted as he continued to read.

I smiled back at him, and made a little nervous laughter.

“One man wolf pack!! Hilarious! Where did you get this shirt?”

“Casual Male”

“It’s fucking funny, man. I really like that.”

“Well, I’m glad that my shirt could entertain you.”

“Oh, it did. Fucking funny as shit. Has anyone else stopped to read your shirt?”

“Um, maybe a couple of times.”

I lied. Sure people have read bits here and there, but nobody has ever just stopped me and made me stand there while they read it. At least, not that I recall. But I wasn’t going to say that to him for fear that I would make him feel as awkward as I did while he stared at my torso for what seemed like an eternity.

“Well, I bet they were fucking dying. It’s funny. Well, I’ll see you later.” he said as he walked away and I wiped a little sweat from my brow.

So a thanks goes out to the guys behind The Hangover for the points I just scored with the VP. That shirt has proven to me more than just a shout out to an incredibly funny movie. It’s the shirt you wear while climbing the ladder of success.